**Warning: mild sexual reference, one sexy posed pic
As you can imagine, in the days after Alex became angry with me, I had walked around in pure panic and utter beratement of myself for being completely inconsiderate of his feelings. My inexperience with relationships made me feel incredibly immature next to the man who was older than me, with two other girl friends in his past. I vowed I would do better, putting him first so I could be the best girl friend he had ever had.
Three days after we last spoke, Alex came on-line and profusely apologized for his outburst. After calling himself a bunch of names I won’t repeat, he explained that he wasn’t truly mad at me, but his father who had ruined the soccer trip for him and made him look like a “baby” to the rest of the team. Alex had been looking forward to the tournament as a means of getting away from his over protective father for a short while, and finally enjoy what was left of his high school experience. Yet his father had taken that away from him, by re arranging his vacation time to be a parent chaperone. Which meant he missed out on all the fun events scheduled off the field as his father made him stay in the hotel room unless they were eating or he was playing. He also said they argued; his father complained about missing work, while Alex reminded him he didn’t have to come. His father had replied he didn’t have a choice, for if he hadn’t, Alex would have put himself in all kinds of trouble and just going on the trip itself was not safe in the first place. He said the trip had made him miserable and it was unfair to take it out on me.
I of course forgave him immediately, for I knew what it was like to have an over protective “father” ruining every chance of a real and happy life. We spent a great deal of time talking about that very thing and fantasizing about our futures. Fantasy turned more to reality and Alex once again renewed his idea for the two of us to be together. More than anything it was what I wanted, even though the idea also terrified me. We began to make plans and my fear, turned into determination.
I wrote it all down. A list in complete succession of how events were to unfold, then hid the stapled pages within my favourite book written by my father. The one book, I knew I would never be without. It was my most treasured item in the world, next to the photo album that contained all the pics of Jilly from the very first day I had met her.
First item on the list, was a sit down conversation with Sun and Jin. The day had turned into a beautiful, warm and sunny Fall afternoon and I asked them to sit with me on the deck while the toddlers slept. I was hoping the weather would lull them into a good and agreeable mood for what I was about to say.I wanted to appear confident and determined while I spoke.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think since Jilly’s death. To evaluate my life and determine what I want my future to look like.”
Jin looked at me with a nervous expression.
“Okay,” he said. “In what regard?”
“All my life, you have told me the outside world is not safe and as such I will not be allowed to leave the island. If that is the case, then I want to make some changes to my life now.”
Sun and Jin looked at one another.“Such as,” Jin asked.
“Such as, I don’t want to complete my high school diploma.” I raised my hand to stop them from interrupting. “Instead, I wish to switch to the All Skills program and finish my schooling that way. It makes no sense for me to be learning subjects that have no bearing on my life here. Yet, the All Skills program does. That way, you can both help me and supervise my education instead of dealing with on-line teachers. Plus, I can get that done within seven months if I work hard. Then I can focus on what I will do for the rest of my life; whether that be painting, sculpting or whatever else it may be.”
“I’m not familiar with this All Skills program you are talking about, so I will need to look into the specifics. Will you still learn math and language?” Sun asked.
“No, but logic replaces math. I know that for sure.”
“I don’t know Jade. Learning Simlish is a very important part of your education,” Jin said. “What if you choose to become a writer?”
“I don’t want to be a writer. I have no interest in doing that,” I replied.
“But you may, down the road,” Sun said as she was getting up.“Can you handle this Jin? I hear one of the babies crying.”
Jin nodded, then turned back to me. “I think Sun is right, Jade. I know that isn’t what you want to hear.”
I took a large breath while I tried to keep my nerves calm. I was going to get my way, no matter what.
“Fine. How about a compromise then? I will enroll in the All Skills program and you can teach me Simlish.”
“Jade, I don’t exactly have the time-“
“But Jin think about it.If I don’t have loads of homework to do all the time, then I can help around the house with chores and the babies. Surely one of you can help me with just one subject in return?” Please, please, please I was thinking in my head.
I could tell that idea stuck in his head, for he agreed to look into the program and within three days I was signed up ready to begin. I wanted to jump into everything at once, but it was Sun that suggested I start with two or three skills so I didn’t begin to feel overwhelmed. I chose cooking
then handiness to start.
And I spent way more time reading skills books then I ever thought I would.Sometimes sitting way into the night just to get one done, but I was motivated to finish this program on time.
Sun and Jin really appreciated the extra time I had to spend with the todds, and even though I just tossed that in to the conversation to make sure I got my way, I found I really enjoyed being with them. I was able to teach Bonnie how to walk,while Jin taught Anna -who by the way took twice the amount of time to learn than her siblings. One full day plus a bit. She just kept sitting her butt down refusing to try.
The toddlers were a bunch of mischief makers, ……..like all the time! I never thought of our house as large, but with four toddlers, I found I was running from one room to the other to keep them out of trouble. For example, this one day Biscuit had an accident in my room and I found Bonnie playing in the puddle.
She was soaked from neck to knee in pee and was promptly tossed into the bath! Just…ewwwwww!
Anyway, I’ve gone all baby crazy and went completely off topic.
In between rushing to get all this work done, I spent whatever free time talking to Alex. He was my number one focus and everything else fell behind him. I never felt truly happy, till I saw his words on the screen encouraging me to keep striving for my goal to finish school. I wanted him to be proud of me. To be worthy of his love.
Travis had called me quite a bit since Alex had his outburst. Each and every time, I made some excuse as to why I couldn’t talk being as abrupt as I could. I felt terrible for treating him this way, but I had made a promise to Alex and I had every intention of keeping that commitment to him.
He emailed me as well. I saw pics of him on their many adventures while they wrapped up their sailing tour. I was envious of all the places he was getting to go and the experiences they had. For example, here they stopped at a small island where they joined a protest against the government for trying to build a playground on an old toxic garbage dump site. I think I would have loved this, if I had been there.
If I didn’t pick up the phone at all, he left messages and I felt more and more guilty as time passed. I really did enjoy talking to Travis during that two weeks Alex was gone and I felt I owed him an explanation as to why I had been so distant as of late. I had planned to send him an email, taking the time to word my thoughts carefully to lessen the sting of the news. But Travis called me while I was busy playing with the todds and without even thinking, I answered the phone, while still laughing at something cute the girls were doing together.
“Hey Jade! Finally she answers! You sound happy, so what’s going on over there?” Travis asked chuckling himself.
Crap crap crap, now what. “Hi Travis. Just playing with the girls is all.”
“What’s new? I feel like we haven’t talked forever! I have so much I have to tell you about my trip and where we are now.”
“Nothing new,” I replied. What was I going to say?
“Seriously? Nothing new in four weeks? C’mon Jade, what is up with you? I’ve missed chatting with you!”
It’s now or never, I told myself then took a big breath for courage. “Look Travis, you can’t call me anymore. Or email. Or text. I would like you to stop.”
He was silent for a moment “I don’t understand. Why? Why would you say that?” he stuttered out.
“I just can’t talk to you anymore okay. It’s, it’s just how it has to be, so please-“
“Why? Why has to be? What changed in four weeks Jade? We always have such fun keeping in contact. Why now?”
I did not want to tell him why. Deep down it felt wrong to say it, but I didn’t have another excuse or another lie to make him do as I asked. “Because I made a promise,” I blurted out. “To Alex. I promised him I wouldn’t talk to you anymore and I plan on keeping that promise. So please Travis! Just stop calling me.”
“Jade, you can’t be serious! You haven’t even met the guy! Why are you letting him dictate your life? This is wrong and I won’t stop trying to talk to you. Someone has to try and knock some sense into you.”
“It doesn’t matter that I haven’t met him. I know him Travis. We talk about everything and I know his heart and the things he wants in life and who he wants to be someday.” Now I was stuttering.
“Just words Jade! You are never going to meet him.”
“That’s not true!”
I swear I could hear the slip of my words ringing in the silence of the air.
“What do you mean Jade? What are you planning?”
“Nothing and I shouldn’t have said that. This call has gone on longer than I wanted. I don’t have to explain myself to you Travis! After all, you are just a voice on the phone or words on the screen now aren’t you? Goodbye Travis!”
“No Jade, wait a minute. Please-” was all I heard before hitting end on the call. Then ten seconds later, the phone began to ring. I kept declining the call until finally I turned off my phone. I thought about throwing it in the ocean, but I really did need my phone for other things, so I walked to my room and placed it in my pants drawer under a pile of clothes. Out of site, out of mind they say. I went back to playing with the girls, but I was so unsettled that I had to take a walk.
As I walked Travis’s words kept popping up in my head. “Why are you letting him dictate your life?” Question is, why are you also trying to dictate my life? Who are you Travis to say what I can and cannot do? Why couldn’t anyone understand that no matter where I am, no matter how old I am, it’s still my life for sim’s sake. MY LIFE. Not theirs. Who are they to treat me like I am some puppet, made to speak and move as they wish? It wasn’t until Alex had pointed this out to me, that I realized I was allowing exactly that. In a year I would be 18. Who was Jin to tell me, where I could and couldn’t live? Go be a father to your own kids Jin and allow me to make my own choices.
Alex had taught me that I was a strong, intelligent and independent woman. I didn’t believe it at first, but I did now and instead of dreading my life, I was looking forward to all of the possibilities. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I owed him everything as well. I would do anything for him, just to make him happy.
When I got back to the house, I heard the familiar ding on my computer and raced to open the screen. Alex had been waiting for me to come on-line for fifteen minutes and I chastised myself for making him wait. I knew the time he was able to get on-line was limited and I should have stayed closer to the computer.
I’m so sorry Alex! I went for a walk to calm my nerves and forgot the time.
Oh it’s okay baby. I mean we have lost fifteen minutes now to chat, but I’m sure you feel bad and won’t do it again.
I promise Alex, I will be more mindful of things.
I’m sure you will. Now tell me, why did you have to calm your nerves? Babies
driving you crazy again?
My heart began to pound as I realized I had made another slip of the tongue. I didn’t want to tell him about my call with Travis, but I didn’t want to lie either. He always seemed to sense when I wasn’t telling him the truth. I was shaking as I held my hands over the keyboard deciding on what to type.
I got a call from Travis, Alex, and I’m so sorry but he has been calling and emailing non stop for like two or three weeks. I tried to ignore him, but it wasn’t working, so I thought if I answered and told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, it would finally end it. I know I promised I wouldn’t talk to him again, but I just had to this one time. Do you forgive me?
I think you made the right decision, this time. Just as long as you keep your word to me. I can’t have you acting like my last girlfriend who lied to me over and over again the last six months we were together. Only to find out, she was sleeping with another guy for the last month we were together. I won’t go through that again. Do you understand?
Yes Alex. I do understand, completely. I would never cheat on you, not like that harlot you were dating.
Excuse me? You don’t get to talk about one of my girl friends like that, got it? She was a wonderful girl and super hot in bed I might add. With her long, blond thick, wavy hair and that perfect ass…I get so f’ing hot just thinking about it. I’m hard right now.
I’m sorry Alex! You’re right! That was rude and I will never do it again.
Alex didn’t reply and my first thought was I had finally stepped over the line. I began to pace my room, stopping at my computer as I was about to pass it, calling out his name in type. I kept a keen eye on the ticking of the clock getting more worried as the minute added up. About four minutes later he replied.
I needed to take a moment to feel better but it’s all good now. I know you won’t do it again. But just as a reminder, perhaps you could send me another photo. Something sexy so I can get hot looking at you. Do you have any lingerie to wear for me?
Oh yes Alex. I can’t wait to take this picture to make you happy.
That’s my girl. I have to go but remember I, Love, You.
I signed off telling him I loved him too. Not only was I going to take him the best picture he had ever seen from one of his girlfriends, but I had a little surprise for him as well.
I was pretty proud of how it turned out. So was Alex, I must say, but I won’t repeat what he said. Just know, he was definitely pleased!
However, Jin and Sun were surely not pleased as soon as they locked eyes on my hair.
“What have you done?” Jin yelled at me, then took a step back to take a big breath.
Sun firmly said “Jin,” then stepped in between the two of us. “Wow Jade. That’s uh, wow that is just something. What made you change your hair to blond?”
“I just wanted a change,” I lied. “I like it. It makes me feel like a different person and that is what I need. To get over Jilly, you know.” Then I purposely teared up, so they would feel sorry for me and forget about their displeasure.
“Oh Jade. I totally understand,” Sun said. “It looks nice Jin. Doesn’t it?” she said jerking her head towards me and giving Jin this look.
“Uhhhh, yeah. Totally like you are a new person,” then he turned and walked away.
“Sooo, blond hair and well, I am seeing a lot of orange in your wardrobe lately. All done with the purple then?”
“Mmmm-hmm. Orange is my new favourite now. It’s so bright and happy.”
“So it’s a whole new you then. Wow, changes all around. Okay then.”
Sun just kept looking at me with this expectant look and I didn’t know what she wanted me to say. “I, uh…..I’m going to make cookies now. Is that okay?”
“Oh, sure sure. Happy baking,” then she headed into the nursery where Jin had retreated.
I was feeling pretty happy for my win….until I burnt my cookies. Sigh.
*Jade’s sexy pose by…….. got to reload the game to look it up- T.B.A.
*Alex is a sim made by Funnyaa at TSR! ALEX
*Special thanks to R.O. for pre reading my gobbly-goop to check for accuracy!