To be honest- As writers of stories, we do more than play, we see the actual story playing out in our heads. Our characters become real people and in our minds we give them real personalities that we build over time as they grow. We have real hopes and dreams for them and we agonize when things go horrible wrong. It’s completely ridiculous for an electronic game, but, it’s really how it is.
Sometimes we take a little longer to work towards an end goal or the result the readers would like, however there is always a plan so you just have to let us get there. Our feelings get in the way you see; feelings for the character, feelings for the happiness of the readers. We suffer many sleepless nights and many dreams about our stories and characters. They almost become apart of us too.
In my case, it has been suggested that the relationship between Jin and Sun was not believable, since they had not consummated it and were not yet married. Sun has been called a prude and Jin was a saint because he was not acting like a typical guy. There was a reason for that I was working towards, but my big brain keeps getting in the way with ideas….like Jade going to camp. Simply because I am also thinking to Jade’s future as well. But I am going to clear it up here and now.
I’m giving this a 14+ rating. Sexual content but no nudity, no swearing.
It had been hard work. I didn’t physically build the house but I felt like I had worked as hard as the builders in all the running, frantic searching and decision making I had done in order to pull this all together. It wasn’t easy, simply because Jin and I had completely different ideas how our forever home should be constructed, how we would live in it and specifically, how we would be happy in it.
“Sun, are we going to really re-hash this out again?” Jin said in that all too familiar frustrated tone. I had learned to hate that tone.
“It’s not what I want. It’s not what we agreed upon. So if we are talking about this again, then perhaps YOU should LISTEN this time.” I responded.
He literally rolled his eyes at me. He turned away to do it, so he didn’t think I saw, but I did and it did nothing to improve my mood or get me to agree to what he wanted.
“Look it,” he said, throwing his forefinger down onto the plans. “We have already paid twice the amount a normal house would cost, just to give you everything on your list so you would feel safe. What more could you possible want?”
“I want you to put on the roof I want.”
“This roof is a steel roof. On steel rafters! It will be so attached to the solid concrete walls you wanted, it will become part of the house! It’s not necessary to pay for the tropical roof system. Especially not for that extravagant a price. It’s not happening!”
“Fine! But when the roof blows off in the next tropical storm we endure, you won’t be rolling your eyes at me then will you.” Then I stormed away spouting a bunch of things in French, just because I knew that would drive him crazy and always did.
Okay, I know what you are thinking. Not our finest hour and we certainly didn’t sound like the happy couple we always seemed to be. They do say, building a house is the number two reason marriages break up and while we never had a ceremony, married we seemed to be……almost.
It was on my mind a lot lately. I didn’t know if the added stress, the heat or the fact that we were finally alone gave me time to think about these things. The construction workers had made camp near the pond, and we could hear them laughing at night as they sat around the fire. I imagined we were the talk of the evening and the source of their amusement each night. I couldn’t blame them. We could be quite the show, at times.
Nightfall was awkward, as it was just him. No Jade to act as chaperone. No Jade sleeping just five feet away in the same room or in between us in the tent, to remind us to curb our behaviour. No Jade, at all. It led one to open their mind to subjects normally pushed into a closed room. Subjects that had before, been some how silently agreed upon never to be discussed.
The past week I had noticed Jin watching me off and on from across the lot. I would be intently staring at the computer screen in an attempt to choose cabinets, bath tubs, and flooring till I couldn’t stare at the bright screen anymore. Rubbing my eyes, I would open them to see Jin looking at me. I thought he was just worried at first, or even that he was formulating his next strategy to get me to agree to something he wanted that I didn’t. But at night, lying in my sleeping bag next to him, I wondered if he was thinking some of the same things I was. It scared me, yet thrilled me at the same time.
The house came together beautifully, even with the steel roof. Jin had managed to find one that didn’t look like steel, which pleased me, in that the house didn’t look like a shed. I mean, doesn’t steel roof bring visions of sheds and barns to you?
Little Bee Designers had worked hard on pulling Jade’s room together, while leaving room for her to add personal touches of her own.
Jade had chosen the colour purple via camp letter, which surprised us considering her favourite colour was yellow. Miss Quinn had contacted us with the concern that Jade was pre-occupied with the idea of being like mommy. Mommy was a famous painter, so she must be as well. Mommy was beautiful enough to be a model, so she must be also. Mommy’s favourite colour was purple, so her new fav was too. I just figured like any childhood stage, it would run it’s own course and if she didn’t like her room, we would do it again. I was actually pleased she was trying to connect with the mother she would never truly know and decided we needed to do everything we could to encourage it. Her father as well.
We said goodbye to all the workmen, and sent them all on their way with a nice bonus as a thank you for getting the house done so quickly. We still had a few days before Jade would be done camp, which gave us time to settle in and get used to the new space. Jin spent the next day hooking up the satellite on the roof and………the solar panels! Which he placed on the hill facing the light house. Efficient, and we didn’t need to see them. Thank fully, he had agreed the windmill was an eye sore and decided to go with the much smaller solar panels.
Night came and that awkward feeling returned. I wished he would say something, anything so I knew what he was thinking or feeling. Was he waiting for me and did I even know what I wanted anymore? Lust was dangerous, for it wiped ones memory of all the repercussions that could be suffered in the light of the day. I had been clear with Jin when we found out the D.N.A results. I did not want children-EVER! After seeing the agony Maya suffered, I couldn’t risk that happening again. Jade could not lose two mothers. I had held on to that resolve, like a well cherished blankie.
Since coming to the island, I had no idea who I was anymore. Gone was the care free girl who laughed with friends in France and flirted with the safe kind of danger, if that contradictory phrase even made sense. It was all replaced, by the cautious girl, the damaged girl………………..the scared girl? I spent my days preparing for the next disaster that could befall us, fully understanding how real life was full of dangers and sorrows I couldn’t even imagine as a child.
I didn’t know who I was and I definitely didn’t know what I wanted. My body had a mind of it’s own though and during times of complete privacy, I explored those “feelings” while I thought of Jin covered in sweat, wearing only his shorts and shoes, hammering wood or lifting heavy sacks onto his shoulders. I had been having more than one shower each day to “explore those feelings”, while completely enclosed in the private stall. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right, but it felt good and relieved the throbbing pressure down below, just a little.
So here we were, that first night alone in our new house and since I didn’t know what I wanted, I slept in Jade’s bed.
The next morning I was putting clean sheets on the bed, when Jin came in.
“It looks good doesn’t it? The room I mean. Little Bee did such a good job. I think Jade will love it.” I was immediately embarrassed, as I knew I was just repeating a conversation we already had the day before. I just didn’t know what to say to fill the space anymore.
“Yes, she did. Look Sun, I think we should talk-”
“I just need to pop these sheets into the wash. Be right back. Oh, could you feed Sophie?” Then I dashed to the washer. When he was distracted by Sophie, I made my way to the new garden house to tend plants.
I shook my head as I imagined the Devil and Angel sitting on my shoulders arguing over my behaviour. ‘You’re an absolute coward’ the Devil told me. ‘She’s not! She’s playing it safe,’ the Angel defended. ‘Safe from WHAT?’ yelled the Devil. ‘From you! Don’t listen to him Sun! He’s led the best of sims down the wrong path. Take heart, I’m here to keep you safe!’
I was so deep in my imagination I didn’t hear Jin come walking up. “Sun…..Sun!”
“Wha…at? Oh Jin, sorry, I was deep in thought. Did you need something?”
“Sun. Sun look at me. We need to talk.” Then he reached for my hand and pulled me up. “Jade comes home tomorrow and I just thought, that while we were alone, maybe we should talk about………….. is that a boat?”
I listened too. “I think it is.”
“Stay here. I will go to the dock to see what it is.” It, turned out to be the company to set up our new satellite so it was aimed properly to the one orbiting in space. Without it we had no way to keep in touch with the outside world. Mind you, from our beach the main land was easily seen, but it was still a half hour boat ride to get there. So the satellite was an absolute must. Jin spent the rest of the afternoon setting up Jade’s new computer and getting all the electronics connected to the satellite.
But as it goes, before I knew it, nightfall was once upon us again. I was standing at the counter when Jin came up behind me.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Oh, uh, I thought since Jade comes home tomorrow I would make her favourite pie to have at dinner.”
“Oh. Mmm hmm, that’s nice. What kind?” Then he leaned down and began kissing my bare shoulder. By the time he reached the the curve of my neck, I was feeling the stirrings of those feelings down below.
“Apple,” I said more whispery than I had planned to do.
He leaned his body into me and reached for the eggs on the counter. He began spinning them both in opposite directions while leaning his lower body into me a little at a time in a subtle rocking motion.
“Do you need some help?” he whispered in his soft, husky voice next to my ear. “Or maybe you could make the pie tomorrow and we could do something else.”
“Jin.” I was working hard to get control of my mind. “What, what are you doing?”
“I’m seducing you, because I have much better ideas of what we could be doing right now.” Then he grabbed my hand, and before I could catch my breath, he turned me into a dip. He kissed me, running his tongue around my lips and I went weak in the knees. My whole body was throbbing now.
He set me down next to the bed in our room. I was so entranced by the wonderful things he was doing with his lips on mine, that I didn’t even remember being lifted up or carried. His hands were running up and down my body in soft caresses using pressure in spots that made me groan out loud. A slight chill, and Jin’s hands on my curve of my lower back made me understand I was now fully naked. He slid his hands lower down my back and pulled my body to his, then slowly turned me, almost like we were slow dancing, to lay me down on the bed.
It was all happening so fast, and I was completely helpless to stop it, nor did I want to. His hands on my body made me feel like I was floating.
Placing his hands either side of my head, he whispered my name, “Sun. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want or will regret tomorrow. Are you sure?”
I fought to clear my mind before answering him. “Yes, I’m sure. But I don’t want to get pregnant Jin.”
“You won’t, we’re protected. So you’re sure?”
All I could do was nod. I didn’t think I had ever wanted something so much in my life!
Jin kissed me again and began moving his lips further and further down my body while still caressing me with his hands. I never imagined anything could feel as good as what I was feeling right now. With every new raw feeling I gasped, begging him for more.
Suddenly he was completely on top of me with his forehead leaning on mine.
“Are you ready? Please tell me you are ready. I don’t think I can wait anymore.”
“Jin. Pleasssse! Now!”
We were just beginning to see a hint of the sun rise when our love making ended. I laid there, wide eyed in excitement while my body tingled deliciously all over! I could not believe what I had just experienced!
“I can’t believe that’s what I’ve been missing all this time. That was soooooo………oh my gawd Jin! My body feels sooooo good. Do you feel like that? I mean WOW!”
When Jin didn’t answer, I poked him. “Jin?”
“Uh huh. Just trying to catch my breath,” and I noticed his chest was also still rapidly rising like mine.
“That’s quite the work out isn’t it.” Then I giggled. He rolled to his side. “I’m glad you are so happy,” he said smiling and shaking his head.
“I am! So, so happy!”
He chuckled and laid back down. “Good,” he said, then promptly yawned.
I rolled over to look him in the face. “Jin. Do you think….maybe could we do it again?”
“Uh no,” he replied with closed eyes.
“Please?” and I began twirling my finger on his chest.
“No!” then he grabbed my hand. “I’ve got to be on the water in about 4 hours. I need sleep Sun.” Then he grabbed me and rolled me to his other side. “Sleep. We’ve got our whole life to do this again, and again, and again.” He yawned.
It was five hours later, not four, when we stood on the dock together saying goodbye.
“Okay I’m stopping for supplies, picking up Jade and then we will be home for a late supper.”
He kissed me, then was on his way. I couldn’t wait to see Jade. But I had to admit, a big part of me wished we had a lot more alone time together. I didn’t know how I was going to feel doing “that” with Jade in the house!
I watched him till I couldn’t see the boat anymore and turned back to our new, and shall I say christened home………………….
Thank you for the encouragement SweetP!